Parent/Teen Driving Contracts a Lot of Bologna
June 16th, 2009
I’m as concerned as the next guy about this country’s teen driving problem. Close to a half million teens each year are treated in the emergency room as the result of motor vehicle accidents. Five thousand die.
I wouldn’t want it to happen to someone I love. I wouldn’t want it to happen to a stranger.
But to think that, armed with a “teen driving contract,” you might be able to save even one young person from a wreck and pluck them from the jaws of death, is simply ridiculous.
You can find all sorts of Teen Driving Contracts on the Internet. They usually include sections with the “dos” and “don’ts” of teen driving, including seat belts, drinking alcohol, obeying the rules of the road and texting while driving (I’ll assume you know which are the ‘dos’ and which are the ‘don’ts). Consequences and rewards usually follow in the teen driving contract.
This is by no means a novel idea. Teen driving contracts are similar to those “say no to drugs” programs in the grade schools, the homework expectations that come home from the high school at the beginning of the year and those purity pledges some kids sign.
At some point, we’ve all had to sign a legal document with $10 words: “I acknowledge that I have read the (fill-in-the-blank) statement of rules and expectations and understand the therein aforementioned…” Whatever.
Rules are important because they promote uniformity and predictability. Contracts are important from a legal standpoint. Should either party breach some fine detail of the agreement, it outlines the means of recovery or compensation. Should someone get hurt or killed, it determines the degree of liability.
So, where’s the “teeth” in a teen driving contract? You can’t sue him, he has no money. You can’t beat him, it’s illegal. You can’t ground him. Well, I suppose you could, but, “Ooohhhh, Scary.”
You take away his keys. Please. I don’t need a document to tell me when that’s necessary.
If a teen driver is going to break the rules, he’s going to do it regardless of whether he has a verbal understanding with his parents or one that is written – and I don’t care if it’s legal, written by an attorney and notarized.
When you’ve got a kid barreling down the road on a Friday night with a car full of buddies, music blaring, do you think he’s going to get a sudden shock of reality and think:
“Oh my. I’ve got to slow down and pay attention here. I’ll be in violation of my driving contract and I could lose my privileges.”
No. He needs a whack upside the head. He needs the wail of a police siren behind him. Even a frightened shout or the barfing of a passenger might get him to lighten up on the gas pedal. But it’s not going to be that piece of paper.
I’ll put a GPS tracking device on my car. I’ll let my teen driver know it’s there. Going out with buddies? Have a good time. Remember the rules. I’ll check your story when you get back.
One teen driving Web site points out that we need a teen driving contract because it prevents the teen from using the lame excuses: “I thought you said…” and “I thought you meant…”
There’s always going to be ifs, ands, buts and special occasions when you’re raising a teen driver. What about Homecoming night? What if the drive-in lets out at 12:45 a.m.? The game went into overtime?
“Sure dear. I’ll trust you to do that. Here, let’s go draw up an addendum to the contract.”
Sometimes I think parents are so caught up in this group therapy mentality that they doubt their own instincts. Kids aren’t made with cookie cutters. So why try to tackle the teen driving issue with a one-size-fits-all contract?
I am not my child’s dean of students. I am not his employer, his parole officer or his loan originator.
I am the parent. I make rules, you follow. You think they’re unfair? Let’s talk. No lawyers.
Speeding and Driving. There are plenty of other “action” verbs that are dangerous when combined. But when it comes to teen driving, for me, those are plenty fearsome.


